In the world of
We Picked ĎEm
Oscar 2001 Edition
-by Andrew Goletz, Erich Schoeneweiss and Shnooka
People often tell Erich and I that we donít know anything about movies and
that itís evident in our reviews, so we decided to include a very special
guest this year for our Oscar picks. Shnooka admittedly doesnít know anything
about movies, but his message board posts have been so entertaining and so well
received that we had to include his picks along with ours.
Erich: As an
added bonus, I have a feeling Shnooka may rip into ĎDrew a little as well,
thus allowing me to concentrate on the Awards.
thought we were doing this for fun, I didnít realize you wanted to get
embarrassed again by making this a competition.
Shnooka: Iím ready for a challenge, bring it on
Best Documentary Feature
Scottsboro: An American Tragedy. Itís the most Oscar sounding of the 5
Erich: Into the Arms of Strangers: Stories of the Kindertransport It has Oscar pedigree (one of the directors has previously won for best Documentary Short), and the Academy loves stories like this.
Shnooka: I havenít seen any of these, my top choice
would be G-String Divas by HBO, but unfortunately the academy hasnít yet
accepted strippers as actresses. But Iím going to go with Sound and Fury, only
because I get this every time I run to the bathroom after a long car ride.
Best Documentary Short Subject
Mama. Martin Lawrence was fantastic in this. Oops, sorry. Wrong film. I go with
Curtain Call, because Iíve actually heard of this one.
Curtain Call as well, I think the Academy members are most likely to watch this
Shnooka: Dolphins, I can always watch good National
Live Action Short Film
Courier. Once again, this is the only one of the nominees that Iíve heard
Erich: One Day Crossing. Again, an Academy favorite subject, and I just canít see a movie about a kid with special soccer powers winning.
Shnooka: These categories suck, who the hell goes and
watches these stupid films, my guess is Survivor, Richard Hatch played this for
all its worth.
Animated Short Film
Rejected. Having heard nothing about the 3 nominees, I think this one sounds
like it could be the most interesting.
the little Iíve seen, The Periwig-Maker looks like a winner.
Shnooka: I hate it when someone wins a award like this and
people in the audience stand up cheering, no one knows who the hell this guy is,
they try to act like theyíre so into cinematography, just bring on the main
shit for crying out loud
Things Have Changed, by Bob Dylan for Wonder Boys. The Golden Globes did it
right. Dylanís music embodied the film and offered the best representation for
nominations and still hasnít won. Iím
going with Randy Newman for his song from Meet the Parents. Guy has to win someday.
Shnooka: Ill go with Erich, he sounds like he knows what
heís talking about
Andrew: Hans Zimmer for Gladiator. Iíll be hoping for John Williamsí name to be called since his score for The Patriot was perfect (The Patriot is a better film than Gladiator anyway), but Iím here to predict the Academyís thinking and everyone is talking about the score of this film.
I love the Gladiator score, I have the cd and listen to it often;
however, the score for Crouching Tiger really helped drive the movie.
Crouching Tiger will win.
Shnooka: This Andrew guy is really starting to piss me
off; The Patriot was the American version of BraveHeart. Gladiator at least was
ORIGINAL. Put me down for Gladiator, Big E
U-571. Only 2 nominees in this category? Why are they even bothering with it?
Erich: Hmmm? The quiet of space or the quiet of a WWII U-Boat? Andrew, Iím agreeing with you again. U-571. (LOOK!! Hell just froze over.)
Shnooka: True, Ill go with U57129874B7
U-571. Itís the only movie to be nominated in both sound categories. The
voters obviously are keeping this film in mind for those awards.
Once again Andrew has a valid point.
These awards tend to go together as well.
What the hell, I know itís not fun when we agree but Iím siding with
ĎDrew and choosing U-571 again.
Shnooka: Isnít this the same, True, Iíll go with
Janty Yates for Gladiator.
Reality tends to beat out fantasy in these categories.
Shnooka: Ill go with the Grinch, Anybody can throw a loin
cloth on, and that fighting sequence with Crowe fighting the guy with the tigers
wearing that chrome mask was a total miss, no fighter would wear that mask in
Dr.Seussí How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I canít believe this film will
have the ĎAcademy Award Winnerí banner across its logo when it comes out on
DVD, but the makeup was better than the other two nominees.
Aaah, finally something for us to disagree on.
As I said, reality tends to beat out fantasy in these categories. Shadow
of the Vampire wins out for itís more realistic approach to the make-up, not
to mention itís over the top use of make-up to portray the silent film era.
Grinch for all itís yellow contacts, green fur, and dumb pig noses was
Shnooka: Ill go with Andrew on this one
Gladiator presented a challenge in having to plan for scenes in Germania, Rome,
and North Africa. All presenting
very different looks. Plus, itís
Maximusí night and these awards tend to go your way when youíre in the zone.
Shnooka: Im proud to see Andrew is starting to see the
Hollow Man. The effects in this movie were simply amazing.
One of the toughest effects to create is realistic looking water.
Effects gurus have been struggling with it for years (one of many reasons
Waterworld was so expensive). The waves in Perfect Storm were incredible, a
character themselves. For this
Iíll give my vote to Perfect Storm.
Shnooka: Gladiator, To recreate Rome took a lot, Gladiator
will win hands down and my bare ass towards both of you
Traffic. There was so much going on in this movie at any given time. The voters
are aware of it and will reward accordingly.
Maximus is in the zone, people have watched this sucker over and over again on
DVD (incidentally, many voters requested that the preview copies of the movies
the studios send them to view prior to voting be DVD rather than
VHS)ÖGladiator takes yet another one.
Shnooka: Traffic, This movie gave me a damn headache with
all the scenes and coloring changes, they freaking butchered this movie to
death. They get my score
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. This is going to play out just like a couple
years back when Life is Beautiful got everyone thinking a foreign language film
could take Best Picture. Wonít happen, but theyíll pass a deserving award
agree, the martial arts masterpiece is a winner, hands down.
Shnooka: I agree for all the same reasons as Andy and E,
this is the only foreign movie I saw
love fest with Gladiator continuesÖat least for this part of the evening.
I would have liked to have scene Traffic nominated here (could the snub have
something to do with Soderbergh acting as his own DP?) alas it wasnít.
The worriors duke it out with the Crouching Tiger just beating the
Shnooka: Gladiator will win, I heard the network is going
to give Russel Crowe a seat on the stage by himself next to the podium so the TV
Station can air more commercials so Russel doesnít have to keep walking up to
the stage to accept the award, That would be really funny
Steve Kloves for Wonder Boys. The Academy apologizes for snubbing this film in
the big categories with an award for Kloves.
Still not enough people saw Wonder Boys, Iím going with Traffic.
Shnooka: Chocolat, just a guess
Cameron Crowe for Almost Famous. Ditto.
Hereís the token award for the best movie of the year.
Crowe for Almost Famous. Unfortunately, this wonít happen.
The award goes to the indie favorite You Can Count On Me.
Shnooka: Almost famous
Hudson for Almost Famous. The Academy loves to screw with the Supporting
categories, so I donít think anything is a sure thing here or in the
Supporting Actor race, but if I have to root for someone, might as well be
Almost Famous was my favorite movie of the year, Iíd love to see it
receive something but itís not going to happen here.
The Academy loves Judi Dench and I expect that love fest to continue
Shnooka: Im going to go with Judi in Chocolate, God I hope
Kate Hudson doesnít win, I canít stand her.
Benicio Del Toro for Traffic. Several years ago, Benicio was snubbed for his
star turning part in Excess Baggage. Now is the time for him to get his fair
shake. Kidding. Benicio is one of the coolest actors working today and he had
the best part in a fantastic film.
is a tough category, but Iím rolling with Willem Dafoe for his brilliant
performance as Max Shreck in Shadow of the Vampire.
Shnooka: Again Iím going to go against the grain here by
saying Albert Finney, I thought he did a unbelievable job, Great actor
Julia Roberts for Erin Brockovich. Iím tempted to go with Ellen Burstyn
because the Academy loves these comebacks and they might feel the need to treat
Julia like Tom Cruise. Heís been shut out for some very good work. Hell, he
was robbed. Julia Roberts deserves this, but my backup pick should the Academy
have their thumb up their asses would be Burstyn.
Julia. She is Hollywood and she
does what no other female actress today does, she tests new ground with varied
roles and more importantly, she opens a movie.
Hell, very few male actors can do that today.
This an award for more than just her performance in Brokovich.
Shnooka: OK now, Julia Roberts is so over rated. Julia
plays the same blue collar hometown girl in every damn movie. She makes 20
million per movie, you test any ground for that kinda of cash. Watch every movie
she made and youíll see what Iím talking about, itís the same character.
They picked her because the real Erin is like her.
shit, Youíd think you know this Erich. Juliette Binoche Chocolat
Hanks for Castaway. Iíll use this time during the show to go to the bathroom.
Russell Crowe wonít win an Oscar for a performance that Mel Gibson did even
better years ago and got snubbed. And the other 3 nominees show that the Academy
has a sense of humor. Iím surprised that the little basketball wasnít
nominated for supporting actor.
is a tough category. I think it
comes down to Ed Harris, Tom Hanks, and Russell Crowe.
I donít think enough people saw Pollock so Harris is out.
Do we really want to give Hanks another one, even though his performance
was worthy? And Crowe may have
upset many older voters with his drinking and womanizing.
Iím going to go with Crowe, itís a Gladiator night and Croweís
delivered some excellent work in the past few years.
Shnooka: Russell Crowe will win or else like E said Ed
Lee for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The Academy gets to prove how much they
like this film even more, without getting ballsy and giving it the award for
Steven Soderbergh been nominated for just Traffic or Erin Brokovich he would be
the hands down winner. The dual
nomination will split the vote for him, and he has refused to campaign for one
movie over the other. If it is
truly Gladiatorís night Ridley Scott will walk away with it, I however agree
with ĎDrew that Ang Lee will win. This
was very much his movie and once again, heís delivered a vast array of
terrific movies over the past few years.
Shnooka: Ill go with Ridley Scott
think every film in this category has at least an outside chance at winning,
with Erin Brockovich having the longest odds. It was a very good movie with some
outstanding performances, but not the best film of the year. Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon will be honored in other categories and the voters wonít
consider it here. That leaves 3. Many people would rule out Traffic, thinking
that the votes will be split with Erin Brockovich, but I donít think the
voters are going to consider Brockovich for this award leaving Traffic in the
running. If the Miramax/Dreamworks battle goes a 3rd straight year, I
think theyíre more likely to avoid being caught up in the mess and avoid
casting votes for Chocolat or Gladiator. Chocolat has the most to lose and
therefore, I donít think it has a viable shot. So the question is one that
Iíve asked all year long. Is Gladiator that good? Is it the Best Picture of
the year? Or at least, of these nominees? No. And I think the Academy realizes
this, too. Best Picture goes to Traffic.
Erich: Damn you ĎDrew, weíre agreeing too much this year. I think voters are on to Miramax and the studioís campaigning. Chocolat canít win, it won by receiving a nomination and thus boosting a lack luster box office. So Traffic against Gladiator in the big ring. David vs. Goliath. This is really a tough call. While I believe Traffic has a good chance to win, Iím going with my gut and Gladiator.
Shnooka: I saw Traffic and did not like this movie at all,
This thing was so boring, Best picture is a a dog fight between Chrouching Tiger
and Gladiator. This is a tough call, I really liked Gladiator, but when I first
walked out the theatre after watching Chrouching Tiger, I said to myself this
was the best movie of the year. Crouching Tiger, scores, GGGGOOOAAALLLL
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