In the world of
black and white,
there is . . .
Columns
Reviews
Original Material
Rants
in E Minor
By
Alysha
McKinney
Who’s
this bimbo?
I
suppose I should introduce myself, seeing as you’re taking the time
out of your schedule (or, if you’re more like me, lack of schedule) to
read my ramblings. Why
you’re doing this, I’m not quite sure.
Actually, I am sure…you’re probably one of my relatives or
someone I’ve coerced to read this.
If not…wow.
My
name is Alysha, and I’m an alco-wait, wrong group.
My name is Alysha, and I’m a comic book geek.
A FEMALE comic book geek, but that’s a completely different
rant that I’ll be getting to at another time.
And I was lucky enough to be asked to write this column by
Andrew. I don’t think he
knew what he’s gotten himself into, but hey…chacun a son gout (I’m
not Gambit, so I’m not going to be translating for you.
Go to babelfish if you need to.).
Not
only am I a comic book geek, but I’m a wannabe comic book WRITER.
I just heard all of you sigh. I know, I did too, but wait!
I won’t be forcing any of my comic-related writing down your
throat here anytime soon…unless you want me to.
I mean, if you ask, I won’t deny you.
I take requests.
I’m
also in the process of creating an online game that goes along with the
same story as the comic I’m writing. The game came first, and I’ve been bouncing around for
about 4 years with ideas in mind. Just
finally getting them down in 0’s and 1’s.
How’s that for typical Gen X slacker?
Like
Cth (if you haven’t read his column, go NOW!
I’ll wait.), I’m a regular at Brian Michael Bendis’ message
board. This has gotta be
one of the coolest places on the web, because we all find the weirdest
shit to discuss. If you
don’t hate me, or hell, even if you do, stop by and say hi to me some
time. I’m the spooky
fangirl on the left wearing black and reading Powers. Hair
color may vary.
So
you can get a real feel for me (Hey!
Get your hands offa me! I
didn’t mean that kinda feel, you perv!) and my eclectic tastes, let me
tell you about what I’m reading and listening to these days.
Reading: Powers, Sam and Twitch, Hellspawn, Ultimate Spidey,
Punisher, the core X-books, Poison Elves, Daredevil, Linsner books when
he gets around to putting them out, and Kabuki.
Listening to: Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Reel Big Fish, Wheatus,
INXS, Alice in Chains, Nerf Herder, Megadeth, and Matthew Sweet.
Playing: Hmm, good question.
I need a new Playstation game to take up the non-online,
non-working, non-comic book writing time.
Gimme suggestions at Evertyme@aol.com.
There’s only so many times one can beat Legend of Dragoon
before going stark raving bonkers.
Anyway, that’s me, and if you’ve made it this far without falling asleep, congratulations. Read my other stuff. This may be just another column by someone who digs comics, but hey…this is a column about comics by a female who reads them in the bathtub while naked. If that doesn’t spark some sort of interest, I don’t know what will.
Death
of an X-Fan
Okay,
so apparently I'm smoking crack.
Judging
from some of my recent comic book conversations online, I must be.
There's no other reason. I'm
not crazy -- at least not legally -- so someone is slipping me crack
cocaine. I mean why else, according to everyone I've spoken to, would
I like Chris Claremont's current run on the core X-books?
Now,
let me preface this by saying that it took me a long time to come back
to Marvel. For years I was
an alternative comics snob. I'd
only read things by indy publishers -- hell, to this day, I have a
rather large collection of Boneyard Press books.
And Marvel? Fuck
Marvel! Well, at least
until I saw David Mack was going to be writing a Daredevil story-arc.
And we all know that chicks dig David Mack. We can't help it. Just
as I was enjoying this (off and on, of course, with the DD publishing
schedule being so erratic) the bomb was dropped on me -- Claremont was
going back to the mutants, and just in time for me to be hyped for the
X-Men movie. Sa-weet!
I went out and bought some Uncannys in the meantime.
What? Cyclops is
dead?!? I was going back to
my little fangirl roots, drooling over And-er, Ada-er, whichever one it
is (Pick a Kubert, any Kubert) and Lenil Yu sketches for the new
direction of the books.
The
books came out and I was floored. Claremont's
writing was the same slow burn I loved from the old days...I could
almost feel the smoldering catch and spread.
The crescendo would be huge, I just knew it.
But then I saw the opinions online, which relate to my
earlier-noted crack smoking.
I've
seen a whole spectrum of complaints; anywhere from Claremont writing in
accents to being ungodly verbose. Now,
the accents I can see some complaint with, since no one translates what
they just said. I mean, in the heat of battle, Gambit says something (or is
that someting?) in French. Because
he's a great guy, he then translates it for everyone.
I can see where the realism veil is lifted there, and it happens
often enough to be noticeable. I'll
give the nay-sayers that one.
But...and
here comes the big but. Being verbose? That's
something I think I need explained to me.
Comic books are meant to be read, correct? So you're not just supposed to crack them open and look at
all the (hopefully) purty pictures contained within? Oh, there's supposed to be a STORY there too.
I just don’t understand why people have a problem with some
writers using large amounts of dialogue.
For example, Brian Michael Bendis uses very dialogue-driven
stories, and no one has a problem with that at all (especially me, I
love his writing). But
Claremont? Please!
God forbid a character utter more than a few words at once.
Apparently his characters are supposed to speak softly and carry
big sticks.
Other
people have a problem with his slow storytelling.
Don’t these people remember classic Claremont stories like the
Dark Phoenix saga? Claremont
needs a long time to set up stories, and then, all of a sudden, BAM!
Everything comes together and blows your mind.
I really don’t six months was enough time to decide on that.
Sure, it’s going to be a little slow at first…the man needs
to try and fix the damage that’s been done over the years.
Lastly,
people have complained that Claremont has kept Cyclops dead and
Professor X out in space during his run.
And this is a bad thing? I
mean, come on, how many Cyclops stories have been told over the years?
I think it’s time to give ole Slim Summers a break for a while.
Of course, I’ve never liked the whiny goody-goody anyway.
As for Professor X, people have been saying that it’s just not
the X-Men without him. Huh?
He’s been away many times in the past, even killed him off for
a while, and no one’s minded.
I think these are just excuses to go back to the familiar…yet
another Cyclops story. Yay.
I’ve recently heard that Grant Morrison is going to be taking over at least one of the X-books, and Claremont is going to be given his own title to tool around with. That’s brightened things up a bit for me, but I still don’t think Claremont was given enough time on the core books to really be able to do anything with them. Hopefully they’ll give him a chance this time on his own book, and let him use all the underrated mutants he writes so well. Hell, if the man can make me like Kitty Pryde for the first time in eight years, the man can do anything.
Copyright©2000 Alysha McKinney